I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
