Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
