I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize