They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i believe in u and ur pee
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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