Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
