They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
