My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize