she was so not down for the gang bang
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
