good thing vaginas are great cup holders
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
