dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
