But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
