U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
