maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize