Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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