Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
