so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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