i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
