If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
send nudes
from the living room?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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