my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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