Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
false alarm. still invincible.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
