please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
