at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
