At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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