On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
