She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
