Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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