i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
