So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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