hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
