Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
