that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize