also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish you could order shots online.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize