I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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