names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
