i just wanna soil my oats bro
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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