Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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