Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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