the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
