im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize