you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
