you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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