When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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