i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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