Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
