I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
