whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
