You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
