well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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