pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
