No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
