Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
