He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
