Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
