i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
