1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I believe in your delicious
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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