when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
