I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
