The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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