Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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