Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
