We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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