don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
