I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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