And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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