That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
