why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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