I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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