just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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