I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
