Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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