Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
