DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
