oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
