I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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