the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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