yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
