Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
