Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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