is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Everything about him screamed your future.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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