worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
