I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
